


TAU Bingo Blackout

by Destruktow



Series: Dest's TAU Fics [6]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Gen, blacking out the bingo sheet, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28397769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destruktow/pseuds/Destruktow
Summary: we blackin out the bingo sheet boys
Relationships: poggers - Relationship
Series: Dest's TAU Fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941781
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	TAU Bingo Blackout

A demon showed up in the summoning circle.

"Hello," you say.

"F̶̛̙̝̠̞͔̖̹̫͇̣̎̂̒͐̅̽͋́̚̚ư̵͉̯͖̣̰̗̮͂͋̿̔͋̿̆́̍͗̑̓͠c̶̼̖̹̆k̸̨̯͎̻̯͊̋͂̅̽̈̓͗̍ ̵͎͎͔̜̗͈͆̀̉̏̽̓̅͑̇͆̓͜͠͝y̸̦̠̮̘̲̙̟͈͕̑̅̈́̔̆̕o̷̢͉̪̰̲̟͖̣͚̹̭̓̇̊̎̂̃͐͂̕̚͜u̶̗͖͔̺̎́̆͂̈́̑͑͘͝͝,̵͎͔̳̘͎̹͖̟̞͘ͅ" it says and promptly leaves.

"Well, that's rude," you respond.

"Y̵͖̜̗͙̩̼̥̦͙̻̌͛̐̂̄̚͜͠ȍ̶̡̧̙̬̻̟͇͇̙̍͐̄̈́̐͋̐ũ̷̡̲̩̤̒͋̋̀̆͆͑͌͋̃͘'̷̧̖͚̜̻̣͙̫͙̭͓͔̳͉̓̿̍͋͆͊̎̓͗͛͘͝ͅr̸̛͍̰̖̜͎͔̦͋̍̇͆̓̑̈́e̶̮̬͇͚̼͔̘̯̗̫̒̎͛̉̉́͝ͅ ̸̧̢̼̫̫̙̲͇̻̭̬̭̇̎̃̏̇̅͝a̴̡̨͇̬̫͍͓̤̬̘̅̎̀͒̈̾̚͝ ̶̨͔̞̖̰͇̎M̵̡̛̘̠̬͎̼̼̻͑̆̂̌̔̅́̈́̍̋̕̕͠i̶̢̲̩̩̦͈͕̮̻̘͐̉̃ẕ̴̨͈̻̗͎͎̀̾͛a̴̡̳̳̭̖̣̤̰̣̰̰̤͔͙̱͑̌͌̈́̕͝͝ȓ̷̢͈̯͓̳̙͉͔͍̬̩̠̗͉͙͊͂͑̾ ̷͉̟͑͆̔̌͗͆͂̋͆̏͋̚͘f̴̧̠̯͛̀͗ö̵̧̥̺͍͓̝͈̥̘̞̲͒r̷̨̖̻̺̼̐̀͑̇̕̚͠ ̴̨̔̀̊̂͒̇̽̀̒͐͝s̴̢̨̡̛̳̻̟̯̮͙̪͓̳̼̘͋͂͒͋̆̔̓̓̐̎̇̚̚̕ỏ̷̢̡̡̲̤͕͇̻͖̻͚̫̘̹m̶̲͉̖̗̥̳̩̩̻̏̐̎̉͆̚͠͝ë̵̢̗͕́́ ̵̢̲̘̳̜̭̻͇͙͈̒̑͛̒͂́̈́̌̏̋͘̚r̵̢̥̪͕͈̔̈̔͛̊ͅe̷̠̮̖̾a̵͇̥̠͙̠̰͋̒͜ś̷̢̛͎͉̜̱͇͍̳̀͌̉͗͂̿̿̓̔͘ǫ̴̧̬̜̺̹̬͎̭̍ṇ̶̢̻̫̙̗͉͖͙̺̞̣̽̄̔̄̋͑̃͝,̴̡̥͕̮̩̮̮͍̞̺͐͜ͅ ̴̡̧̺̫̦̩͓͔̗͈̪͔̻̗͛͂̑͐͆̃͘͘ą̶̨̛͍̳̘̼̝͚͓͉̥̘̤̏͐͆̎̎̂̋͌͜ņ̷͎̻͕̺̠̤̰̗͎̝̫̥̏̆̽̎̄̈̽̿ͅḓ̴̡̱̟̼̰͇͕̜̃̎̍̒͛̇͆̄̏̒̊͘͘͝ ̴̰͖̱̾̎͛̐̎̇̿̾͘͝ÿ̸͉͔͎́͗͂͑͜͝ȯ̴̡̗̖̻͕͔͍̥͙̘̝̟͎̣̐̈̔̄̀̐͗̽̚͝͝ų̶̛͇͍͔̣̫̪͕͍̘̱͒̓̎̓͑͘͘͝'̵̯̰̪̥̮͈͎̻͎͙̀̉͌̀͝r̸̳͚͗̆̿͐͌́͌̔̅̃͘͘ē̵̢̗̩͉͍̳̳͔̼̣͉̮͇̠̔̒̀̉̔͆̉̊̓͛͘͘ͅ ̶̜̋̋͂̐͐͘̚̕͝͝ṉ̶̡̢̛̤̬̗̺̤̺̀͂͜o̷̙̟̦̿ṯ̴̏ ̸͖̮̠̤̙̗͈͎̝̝̘̱̇̓͊̎͌̌̅̈̅̒͊͘ċ̵̡̧̠̹͔̪͙̠̞͎͛̆̚͜o̸͕̹̲͙̦͂̓̽̊̂̐̕̕o̵̡̖̣͔̼̥͈̩͖̜̐̅̈́͌̓̿͗̇̽̚̕l̸̢̛̜̐̊̍̈͆̋̿̅͒̿͠.̴̫̺͕̥̗̝͖̲̤͌̌̊̓̑̈́̇̀̋̎̕͘͜ͅ ̵͙͆͐́̕͝M̵̲̝̖̮̥̩̉̆̓̑̋̉̔͐̂́̆͠͝i̸̢̛͈̗͔̤̯̟̰̾̓̍͐̈́͝͝z̵͉̱̯̈́̓̓̿͊̚a̶̛̜͋̉̓͌͋̇̐̃͝͠ŗ̷̡̨̝̩̪̮̦̤̦̙͙͈͙̆͐͆͋̿̔̂́͜s̶̲͎̪̫͑͒͗̓̀̌͘ ̸̨͎̱̥̯̤̮̂̎͗̃̚͝ͅǎ̴̲̦̱͔̤̠̳͈̯̄͌̅̈́͛̃̎̕̕͝r̶̳͓͙̲̳̩͔̃͊͒̇͗͐̓̓̑̓͗̋ȩ̶̜̟̿̍͗̍͗͐̌͌͂͐̃͌̕͠ ̴̨̾s̸̛͔̝̊̿̈͑u̴̧̨̪̳̤̻̱̟̣͙̭͊̅̄̅̄̈̈̊̀p̵̨̗̝̗͇̩̼̘̯͔̾̈́̅̔̽̃̆̊̈́̏̀͜͝͠p̸̢̹̖̥̻͔̲̟͕͐̌̈̃́ͅo̷̧͚̥̰̭̰̩̬͒͆͊̃̄̑̈̄̍̓̈́̐̈͝ͅs̶̺̲͖̙͑̇̃̉͐̈́̍̒̽͋̂͘e̶̛͕̬̟͗͒͆̋̌̈͌̊͜ḑ̷̡͕̯̺̩̜̺̩̰̍̏̎͂̈́̅͛̂̑ ̷̧̛̰̟̭̳̲̙̣̟̞̦͂̽̎͊̉̆̓̃̾͜t̶̮̜̖̩͙̹͎̜͌̃̉͝ò̶̧͎̝̤͙̥̘͉̍̂̋̌̽̊̚͠ͅ ̸̳̗̭͎͒̋̈́̑͒̃̍̃͝͝͠͝͝b̴̨̢̘̦͖͈̘̝̪̭͓̟̟̬̲͌͆͛̒̎̊͝͠͝͝ê̶̱͚̻̋͌̋ ̴͇̔̈́̃̄̌͝͠c̵̡̡̮̪̥̫̤̬̮̠͊͜ŏ̵̧̢͓̻̗̙̙̪̤͈̲̙͔̜̗̃͑̈́̿͒̋͛̇͆̓͋̈́͠ọ̴̡͍̝̣̮̳̈̐̈͝l̶̡̡̛͇̫̜̪̥̋̇̿͆.̵̨̝̤̮͚̥͖̳̰͒ ̴̲̳̩̳̌Ṃ̵̨̧̣̞̩̻̻͂́̿a̸̧̞̝̦͇͎̣̲̓͌̀̈̄̈́̊͝͝͠ͅb̵̜͓̜͋̊̌̆̐̏̚͠e̶̡̧̞͉̯͎̯͈̘̺̟͕̬͗́̂͒͜͜l̴̢̢͕̞̮̻͎̝̼̬̉̊͒͆̂͒̔͗̈́̕ ̴̡̫̬̙̟̫̲͔̖̖̰̝͒̿͜ͅw̶̢͚̪͚̬͕͕͖͙̞̜̟͛̈́̕a̸̛͖͉̗̘̞̔̅͂̂̓͋́̒͌͘s̵͓̫̯̅̃̈́̑̿͒̓̊̏̈͒̊́͝ ̸̮̗͓̺̦͓͙̰̻̝͛̓̃̑̔̾͆͆̅͆̂̈́̕͠ȏ̴̢̨̯̫̭͓̙̱̯̱̯̄͆̏͌̆͒͝͝͝n̸̖̺̰͖̓̃̌̈́̋̉̈́͗͜͝ͅe̷̳̞͕̻̪̒̒͑͂̃̓̕ ̴̞̲̯͎̤̘͍͌̋͊͛ͅȯ̷̝̦̲͔̼̰͌͗̈̎̅͌̚͝f̴̧̨̧̨̥̬͈͚̝͕̤̳̭̩̦͒͗̃̇͐̋͗̒̃̐̊͂̚͝ ̵̧̲̻̝̙̬̯̹̫̼̽̾̈́̃̕͜ͅṯ̵̬̞̱̬̗̠̟̌̇͐̊̀̿͒̑̕͝ḧ̷͔́̎̚͜͝ę̸̨̞͍̖͇̦̠̖̦̮̜͂̎͐̚̕ ̴̡̪̰͇̟̏̐̆̐͒͐͊̍̃͊̊͘͝͝ͅo̵͖͇̟͚͔͌̊̉̋͑̉͘n̶̢̢̧̛͔͍̠̊͜ḽ̷̨̛̛͔̩̻͕͍̅̈́͐̈́̀̓̓̑̈̈́͌̕̚y̴̛͋̓̂̈̀͂͋̕͝ͅ ̶̡͚̖̤͍̥͖͓̰̯̗̞͍̱̐͗̒̽͋͌c̸̡̨̘̠͕̟̑̊̒͊̐͗͛̆̆̌͠͝ơ̵͖̬̰̫̮͓̞̾o̸͖͇̦̜̙̫̻̹̅̌͊̈̔͜ͅl̵̠̜̱̣̱͖̩͈̥̦͉̲͎̼̦̾̉̈̌̈́͐͛̑̌͆̒̕͝ ̵̨͎̻̠̗̙̺͉͕̪̳͎̍̓̒͒̓̍͋̌͜͜ǫ̵̨̧̢̖̭͕͈̻̟̘̫̫̇̿̄͛͠ṉ̸̪̤̯̖̼͚̣̼̬͇̌͛̿̈̒̒̌͠ē̷̢̻̓͋ș̷̨̡̛͖̹̼̻̼͎̳̗̿͊͐͋͌̾͋̒̚,̴̥̣̬̬̟̂̔" it growls at you.

Immediately after, it adds ""̴̳̹̻̬̯̫͂̈́̂͒̊̀͝ͅȂ̴͔̥̿͗͆̽͛̿͌̍̑l̶̡͇̎͌̂̏̍͒͆͒͆̚̚ș̸̢̲̼̖͉̹̠̼͔͓͙̗̿̌̈͐̀̂͘͝ŏ̵̧̳̬͈̼̞̩̺̦̬͛̂̇̽͌͛͗̌̄̓͐͋̈́͘͜,̸̢̪̺̣̺̌͘ ̵̢̜̘̙͍̣̞̘̏́̌̌̒͐͝I̵̫̠̘͚̫̺͚̓̋̉̎͠ͅ ̴̰̣̘̯̺̳̇h̴͎͖̠͉̮̗̝̘̠̺̏͒́̋̃̉̅͗̚ͅä̵̧̢̨͓͎̣̰̬̥͖̥̣̺̱́͗̐̀̽̂͗̒͂͐͝͠ͅv̴̨̦̟͖̬͊͂ȩ̶̹̩͕̥̣̦̱̈́̇ ̶̨͎̼̰̳͓̪̞͙̜̦͇̻̓̈́́̈́̈́͠͝͝ͅñ̸͕̱̟̭̠͎͙̏o̷̧̨̹̲̩̙̙̫̭̭͓͊̆͑̽̋̉͆͗̉̏̅̕͝͠ ̶̛̛̲̞͌͐̑̓͒̓͑̌̚͠i̷̙̯̼̫̐̐̄͆͐͂̕͝ḏ̷̻͓̼̩̖̺̤̞̔̋̈́͐̚̚͘ȩ̶̪̤̬̩̫̼̟̦̥̞͍͍̮̄̃͋̈̿͆̈͗͘͝ą̸̢̱̺̦̹̹͚̣̳̗̔͋ ̷̨͙̩̱̳̙̘̓̀̚͝h̸̢̛̛̘͈͓̞̹͋̾̔̊͆̿͠ớ̵̧̧̞̟̖̻̪̥̖̎̈́w̵͎̆̔̈́ ̵̧̭̙̹̜͚̋̀͗̚ţ̷̦̙͚̭͇̣̜̰̞̞͙̊̍͊̋͂͋͑̄̓̎̓̏͐ǫ̵̡̪̦̻̰̞̹̣̥̮̣̏̎̓̏̋̅͂͂͆͜͝ ̴̧̨̛̠̘̥̗͖̖̐̋͐͐̇̓̉͒̊̕̕͜͠͠ͅĩ̷̺̗͓̮͍̗̣̭̯͇̣̣͔̀͛̑̾͛̆̽̒n̵̨̤̺̯̟͕̹̦̹͈͓̭̗̄̐̆̈́̈́́̈̏̊̀̈̓̌̐͌ͅţ̴̢͔̬̩̞͇̣̲̖͙̎ẹ̸̤̤͗͐̊̓̕͝͝r̶̡̞̪͙̥͆́̈̃̌a̷̟͎͖͓̘͕͇̔͌͒̃͊̎c̵̢̧̡̡̧̛̩̜̘͔̗̱̹̦̥̑̍͊̏̈͛͗͊͘͝͝t̶̫̻̠̼͙͇͖̂̐̔̽͐̿͒͆͘͜͜ ̷̢̻̳̱̰̫̭̝̣̺̬̞͕́̈́͒̈́̈͆͋̓̂͑̂̓̚͝ͅw̷̧̡̛̛̺͚̮̞͚̻̻͚͍̎̾̆̏̆̂̿̍̀̄͝ͅͅî̷̡̟̞̺̳̖̘̻̰̰͇̮̙̪͐̔͋̔͐̔̇̊̓͐͋ͅt̵̥́̾̾̎̉͋͐̄h̸̲̱͙̪͇̦̺̹̎́̑̈̽̂̎͂͐̋̚͜͠͝ ̴̡̧̹̹̠̙̲͖̙͈̮̟̭͕̾͑̋͒́̈́̒̓́̉̒p̷̠̦̞̖͙̬̟̭̯̟͍̳̥̿̾́̍̅͆͐͂̑͋͘ĕ̴͔̣̘͙̭̎͊o̷̡̢̮͚̙̣̞͇̫̞̠̊̈̈̈́̒́͐̍p̸̛͎̭̳̝̎̉͗̿͒͠͝l̵͉͙͎͖̤͒͆̔̋͑̏̅̓̐͝͝ḙ̶̹̜̹̥̮̜̥͈͂̑̈̈́͠.̶̼̰̇̋̓͗̍ͅ"

"What about Henry?"

"Ŏ̴̧͍͕̪͙̜̙͍̩̺̦͓͖̄̂̌̽̂͐̇̉͗͂̚h̴̤͕̆̋̀̈̃̈́ͅ,̶̧̼̺̤͖̭̝̩̞̻͔̦̾͊͑̾̊͑͑ ̵̨̧̭͈̜͉͕͍͂̆̊̇͑H̸̟̰̹͓̣̒͛̽͒̕e̶̫͕̲͆͆͋̓̂̽͌̋͐̚̕͝n̶̘̫̘̝̰̱̞̜̞̘̲̗̓̉̓̆̎̓̌̒͋̑̋̚͜͠r̶͔̤͚̻̳̦̟͍̳̍̇̄̔̈́̈́̚y̵̺͙̝̑͐͗̔͂̓̐̀̂̐̊̄̎̚ ̶͇̫̲̥͖͕̞̗͍̫ẉ̷̨̢͈͆͂̒̔̊̓͠͝͠͝a̵̛̫͒͊͆̓͋s̷͉͍̅ ̸̢̡͓̰͉͕͙̇̕͜c̵̡̟͖̖̪͐̔̈͂̆̔̈́̏̋͠ǒ̶̜͓̞ơ̸̢̧̛̖͔̫̯̌̉͑͒̿̉̅̐͒͐͊͂l̸̛͙̖̑̎̊̍̓̕͝͝.̵̨̟̠̩͉̞̱̹̺͍̝͊̈́͋̌̃̚͠͠ ̷̞̥̤̤̹͉͙͕͇̤͐H̴̥̪͖̝̤̜͖͇̾̒͘i̶̠̖̭̜̒̓͆s̵̼̠̑͊ ̶̰͖̮̍̊͊̄͘m̷̨̡̨̹̹̦̲͉̣͓̪̺̒̋́̄̇̋̊̈́͛̾͜͝ư̷̧̗̠̠̗͓͙͚̣̜̱̦͕̪̍͋͐́̊̒̕̚s̵̩̹̝̑̐̇̈́͗̉̈̐̒͑̉̑̕͘̚ṱ̸̢͇̭̪̱͓̰͙̻́̿ͅͅa̷̡̞̳̖̺̹̺͔͈͇̻̩̐͐̅̂͜ç̴̛̤͇̘̣̺̩̮̰̲̖̒͗̉̈́h̷͉͉̪̱̿̃͗͋̿̓ͅe̷͉͎̲̹̗͎̱̅ ̷̣̙̣̥͐ŵ̸̟̮̙̮ȃ̸͕̿̔͑̅͌̋̍̒̏̕s̷̺̪̈́̎̇͐͝͝ ̶͇͙̯͍͎̠̺̑̋͊͑̚̕ȁ̸̪̘̗̬̰̤͠w̵̫͕͚̩̭̦̓e̶̬̻͕̖͙͙̖͖̠̻͂̐̎͌̑̈͑͊̂͜͜s̴̫̪͕̋̇̄͐͋̑o̴̳̦͔̼̪͎̥͐̚m̶̛̳̋̈́̉̃͂̓̓̓́̿̍̋̚ĕ̷̥͔̦̭̘̲̭̠̥̏̇̈́̾̑̇̋́̽̏.̶̢͚̩̣͖̣͇̰̫̬̗͙̃̉͗̿̃̾̽͒̎"

"I didn't think his mustache was that cool."

After that idiotic take spews from your mouth, Alcor stabs you because he disagreed with you.

"I lied, his mustache was cool."

"N̴̹̳̱͓͙̝̹̺͎̬̘̲̦̒̇̔̈́̐̊͜O̷̖̱̥͕̰͇͙͕̜̓͗̋̑̄̔̀̿͘̕͝O̵̧͎̯̹̪̟̣͈̝͌̓̿̐̈̊̉͝O̴̙̻̅͗̈́̆͛̋̃̿͆̕Ŏ̴̲̘̺͕̬̦̗͈̺̣͉̜͕͂͂͆̈͒̉̈́̅Ő̸͉͖̰͓̉̈́͋̈́͘O̴̥͚̿̿̾͒̂̍̓̾͊Ò̶̭̭̖̞͔͎̃̒̏̕ͅO̶͈̥̼͔͔̖̠̠̺̅̄̋̃̐̌̃͑̕͠͠!̵̛͎̬̘̬̤͈̣͚͈͕͓͎͙͉͂̽̃͒̊̅̿̕̕͝͝!̶̨̙͉̠͖̝̆͊͆̚͜͠1̷̢̨̢̡̛̯͖̦̟͍̗͚̘̣͙̪̔͒̊̈̿͋̄͋͊̇͆͐͑̕!̴̢̢̺̳̼̖̜͙͙̙̜̝̺̔͑̈͜͠!̸̖̻̲̹̳̱̆͜!̴̢̜̖̞̲̘̻̺̘͓̹̉̏̌̄̉̀͊͋͒͘!̷͓̜̜͉̗͇̼͓͍͎̣̎̓̅̾̇͑̒͂͌1̵̢̻͔̫͇̟̟̲̜͉̥̱͈͉̒͝!̷̰͍̖̻̓!̴̣̬̹̼͎̫̭̺̙̋͗̔̋̽̉̿͊̐̓͠!̵̢̛̫͈̈́̓̀́̋͛̔͛̐̈́̊͐͝" he weeps, cradling your dead body. "W̴̧͙̗͈͓̻̣̫̤̅̎̋̍̓̍̇̀̊̑̕H̷̡̡̛̛̖̘͈̦̜͍̲͇̯̞̥̟̝͛̽͒͌͐̏͑̾Ÿ̸͇̰̾̓͂͋̉͗͛̿̏́̑̀͘ ̷̨̙̈́̇̏̀̒̆̔̈́̆̓̇̕͝͠͠W̴̦̗̪͔͓͚͊͑͗̽O̸̗̻̖̱͌̏̓̀̉̏̍̆̽̂͋͐͒͠ͅŲ̸̗̘̊̅͆̇̏͌͂͠͠Ĺ̴̞̗̝̰̞͉̹͓͇̦̙̩̜̰̎̿̊Ḍ̵̢̧̨͇̺̮̝͔͙̟̂̍͝ ̵̢̙̻̥̱͉̩̦͎͇͊̎̉͂͐̃̑̎Y̶̨̞̗͇̻̺̫̳͓̻͂́̆̓̊͒͜͝Ô̵̠̂͂̍̈́͛̍̊̅̍̍̚̕Ȕ̶̖̆̅̄͒̌̃͘͝ ̴̮͕̝͇̻̘͙̜̐̆̈́̄͂̎͆̈̉͜L̶̪̓̋͆̆́̐̑̽̃̕͜͠͝Ï̷̳̞̪̆̈̋̑͆̉̐̃̂͝Ȩ̸̻̜͔̗̬̟̲̓͗̓̐̆͐̓̄̓̈́̚ ̸̡̪͓̘͖̇̏̉̈́̂̈́͊̉̂L̸̪͕̫̟̪͚̙̙̐̀̐͗͆͛͌̒̎͗̐̍̓̚Ị̷̣̝̭̖̖͈̪̪̾̃K̵̡̠͈̼͕͈̠̲̺̬̘̙̟͙̾̈́̄̽͑̋̈́͗̍̄͌͋̌͘ͅË̷̛͙̰͉̪͉̖̬̳̤̞̥̘̘̈́͂̒̋̏̐͒͠͝ͅ ̶̡̧̢̭͚̬̹̈́͜ͅŢ̶̧̼̪̮̭̼̬̫̻̞̤̻͐͑͋̔̌̓̋̂͐͐͝ͅH̵̦̙̯̰̲̭̪͖͋̍̾͋A̴̡̛͎̟̫͇͇̜͉̼͈͉̘͚̟͐̉͌̌̈̏̏̍̾T̷͍͍̗̮̺̖̰̓̾̓̓̚͘?̶̯̲̗̥̯͚̩̼͕͍̦̪̍̋̉̑̈́̅̎̉?̶̧̬̟̠̠̝̳̘̫̉̂̇̃̽̌͝?̷͉̠̙͖͋̃̽̀͌̍͂͋?̴̙̳̤̯̙̦̖̗͔̞̲͋̍̋͊̐̎͊́̇̍̚͠"

You give him a sad smile and gesture for him to lean closer.

You then slap him.

"You idiot, I didn't really get mortally wounded. A couple bandages and a demon deal'll fix me right up.

"A̴̧̧̨͍̰̘̩̳̫͑͜p̸̱̰̙̦͇̮̖͋͛o̶͇̬̠̭̽̿͛̆͝l̵̢̮̘͚̪͎̱̹̮͕͓͉̖̙͎͛̈́͋̿̌̉̓̒́̿̿͘̚o̷̢̹̱͈̤̓͛̆͛̃̐ģ̶͎͙͚̠̦̱̞̳̺̗̖̫̥͔̌̊̐̚̚ḯ̶̢̛̪͉͈͎̯̲̠̲̗͐e̶͎̓͒͆̽̒̅́́͊͘͜͝s̸̡̫̫͓̃͒̑̕.̶̟̝͙̝͍̙̍̔̐͝ ̵͚̫̞̺̯͒̅͝Ỉ̸͙͉͍͖̭̹̔̌̈́̿̎̌̈́͋̾͒̄̚ ̸̨̛̟̙͚͎̾̾̇̓̈́̍͆͊̿͘h̶͇̟̣͎͓̀a̴̹̖͈͓̭͋̾̃͒̊͂͜v̸͎͖̻̭̖̺̻̦̦͕́͛̐̋̆͌̅͋͝ͅe̵̡̨̘̟̘̻͙͎͇̟͕͎̩͉͋̀̌́́ ̸̢̠̭̬͍͔͙̍̋̍͌͑̚͘͜͠͝͝͠͝͠v̴̡̢̖͈̮̪̱̮̘̦̱̲̬̱̿̄̒̊̐̆̿̐̿̈́͐͜͝͠ę̸̳̓̓͊ŗ̶̼̻̘̬͙̬̽̓y̵̧̥̰͇̹̱̜̯̜͈͇̔̓͊̉̀͗͒̿̋͊͛̽̕͝ ̷̢̩͓͎̭̯͕̩̲͔͌̂͛͂͊͗͑̍͝p̶̡̨̧̳̩͉̣͔̮̦͓̼̆͒͜͜͝o̸̰̽̋̐̂͠ͅo̶̧͖̖̘̝͎̖̫̺̟̦͚̰̣̔͊͠ŗ̴͇̝̣̚̚ ̵̨̧̭̝͈̻̚͜j̵̡̞͎̪̩̞̗̺̲̈͊͗u̵͉̓͗͐̊͑͂̾̐̾̌͝͝d̴̡͙̝̜̘͓͚̯̗͙̝̏̈́͑̀̋͛̇́̅̊̾̚g̴̹̻͉͈͍̿͑͆̏͘͝ę̸͙̥͙̦̬̫̳͙̮̥̰̊̽̒̓͒̂̐̚͝m̷̮͓̟͉͖̳̥̯̲̝͂̐͆̓̂̇̌̓̊̋̅̋e̸͔̯͉̋̆͂̂̾̓͑̃̃͋̅̚͜n̵͉̭̖̈̎̃ţ̴̛͉͍̻̬̘͈̟̬̼̣͙̰̪̅̽̀̏̓̑͂̇̚͝ ̴̝͓͈̱̱͔̘̺̫͍̈́̓̃̅͆͘ͅȏ̸̗̓̃̽̋̅́̾̅̃̄̓̚f̶̨̙͕̺͛͐̏̈́̉̂̿͘͠ ̷̧̻̬̰̩̫̄͐ͅw̵̨̛̦̖͈̠͓͍̮͍̰̼̤͍͚̔̑̀̌͑͌̄̚͝͝͝h̷̤͖̉͛̄͗a̶̡̟̤̱̝̯̯̲̓̆̾̎͌̎͐́̔́̚͠͝t̶̩̙̥̜̮̣̬̲̻͇̣͒͆̇̃̿͑͌̇̄̆̕̚͝ ̵̢̧̢̰̠̜͇̝̠̹̬͕̱̲͉̈́̏̕̕c̵̠͕̫̯̩̗̪͇̖͎͇͎̽̈́̒̈́͗͘͘͜o̵̡̢̻͓̲̮̦͈͉̝͆̇̓̒͛̏̃̽̊͒̊͝n̸͓͈̯̙̯̳̰̥̙̭̽̃̓̆̃̓̿͗̌͗̃̈́̕͜ͅs̶̝̬̥͍͚̳̠̜͍͈̮̪̻̝͆͂̒͆̈́̾̐̏̄̉̂̄̅͜t̴̨͕̠͈̼͚̹̩͚̞͒͆̋̒i̶̖̳̟̯̺̦̪̥͉̓͆͌͒͒͑͐͌̈́ͅt̵̢̝̹̪͇̄̑͆̈ṳ̴̧̨̟̤̺̼̰̼̗̣̪̩̙̂́̎̂͒͗̐̀̚t̴͖̪̘̽e̸̡̘̪̯̭̹̗̱̤͊́͠s̸̡͇̜̝̩̰̪͚͉̰͙͊̊͆̓̒̕ ̷̡̥̟̬̱̰̳̭̠͐̽͂̃̐̄͘a̵͚͈̘͂̀̍̇̈́̈́̑ ̷̢̧̡̞̜͇̼̹̯͇̝̞̫̈͊̊̒̓̎͋͘͜ͅm̵͓̠̫͖̥̗̪͚͈̺̳̈́̓̇̑͒͛̃̐͌̂̿͂́͜͝͠o̶̥͙̲̻̣̰͓̍̎̑̈͂̂ŗ̸̛̱͕̰͇̠̝͕͈̤̜̘͙̥̆͒̍͑̾͋̈̅͘ṭ̵͍̞̤͍̫̦͚̰͖̥̏̊a̵̩̰̯̞͓̳̭͎̗͐͛̈́͋̃̈́̊̈̏̏͂͗̾͝l̷̢̧͎͔̗̤̹͙̀͒̃̋̆̑͂̿̏̇̂̉ͅ ̷̦̭̟́̄̅̑̒̈́̓̿̆͛̈͒͐̎w̶̪̱̜͓̤̄͆̊͛͗̄̓̓̚͝͝͝ơ̸̧̼̦̰̯͚̜̯͙̖̠̝̤̤̓̄͂̒̿̇̉̊̆ü̵̢̢̬̯̹̰̟̪͆͒͗͆̄̅͑͝͝n̵̡̨̲̬̪̲͍͎̟̼̲͙̝̲͋̕͠ḑ̷̥͔̯͙͔̻̗͔̙̬̰͉̍̉͜͝ͅ.̶͉͚̾͊̒̇͋͝ ̵̪͍͇̮͕̈́Ǐ̸͍̖̰̪̳̣͚̘̃ ̷̨̡̟̟͕̪̫̺̥͊̔͊͒͘͘ͅͅȏ̴̢̡̠̦̤͍̰̝͍̹̣̟͕̇͐͋̒̓̓̉̽̍̊͜͝ṉ̷̡̻̮͓̫͌̐̋̾̎̽̌̽̈́̑̕͘c̸̡̛̱̼̲͎͍̖̦͔̭̣̱̾̌͂̎͛͋͘͘ͅe̸̘̳̬̲͒͊̌̈́̄͝ ̸̢͕̣̂̿̈́͌̎t̷̫͓͗̒̈̊̔̒͐o̸̤͕̫͙͛̇͊̈͑͗͝o̶̻̲͎̅̏̌̊̽͑͂̈́͑̐͗͝ͅk̶̨͕͔̲͚͐̌̀̚ ̴͔̙͆͛̏͂͜m̸̰̪̍̊̐̌̂̈́̒̅̈́̓̿̚ỹ̵̧̻͖̟̥̖͍̪̪̳̮̰̖̠̆̓͛͗̉̓͠ͅ ̷̧̨̧̧̼̱͚̭̼͕͍̳͇́̅̉̈̍̑͌ş̶̗̺̦̖͎̭̭̘̝̗̈͑͆͒͆͛̏͋̏̕͝i̵̢̢̼̦͍̬̒͛́̍͌͑̾͒̔̄̾̿͘͠š̸̡͕̹̤͕̯̬̉͘t̶̛͖͇̩̉̏͊̀̓͑̿̉̈̓͛̏͘͝e̶̹͎̼͉̞͛͌͗ṟ̵̛͕̣̣̠̪͆͋̃̏̓̋͝'̷̰̙͕̲̰̻̰̬̗̜̣͉̎̓̎̾͝s̷̡̢̛̤̘̙͚̙̐̐͂͛̅͆͒̿̋̂͝͠ ̷̢̧̞̫͙̠̝̪̯͉̙͔͕̜͊͛͜͝s̸̢̧͚̻̺̝̪̮̉̄̍̈́̒͊̇̕͜ȍ̷̠͍̳̠̘̞͙͇̮͍͉̑̒u̸̠̣̅̈͌͆̓͊͗̑̋͂l̶̡̢̤̖̤͇̈́͊̀̍͊͜͠ ̴͚̞̗͔͑̑͒̋͝ţ̶̟͙̒ơ̷̛̝̫͈͓̍͆̋̂̂̉̓̋́̆͠ ̷̼̙̗͊͋̾͆̋̑̆̍͋̈́̂̕͝͝ḫ̵̢̼̹̜͂̉̍̈́͑̽̾̌̆͆̚e̵̡͔͍̦͔̻̣̭͔̣̥͇͈̬͆̒͌̃̍͋ã̸̟͔͖̩͎̖̮̺̺̬͕̝͇̭̊̉̎̉̈́̾̈́̍̌͝͠l̸͙̝̭̗̬̣̬̻̟̮͋ ̴̡̛͓͔͚̭͜ä̷̧̦̲̘̱̮̪̠́͗̈́̈́̾͂̈́̎̾̓̅͝ ̵̨̥̜̤͐͛̉̋͝w̴̧̢̨͎͇͙̩͈̦̝͇͈͚̹͍͂ō̶̧̡̮̲͇̹̞̘̣̣̬̲͕̊͛͒̈̽͝ͅȕ̶̢̩͕̖̫̦̄̌̾͋̅͆̃͜ͅň̴̢̼̯̣̯͍̺̬͉̾̈̍d̶̢͓̭̯̍͌̌̄̂͐̊̅̈́͘͝͝ͅ ̵̞̠̪̜̃͂̈́͝ț̶͔̜̲̘̫̘͔̺̼̌̈́̑̈́h̴̜̻͓͇͈̙̩̘̺͓̋̓͜ͅͅa̵̮̓̉̐t̶̢̢͍̗̆̋̾͝ ̵̭̱͕͉̲͓̦͈̮̣̮͓̞̎͛̈́̋͗̐̆͐̏̽̚̚w̴̭̮̟̮̐̒͝͝o̴̘̬͐͊̏̈́̄ų̴̢̛̛̮̬̦̯̞͍̞̼̇͌̑̎̓̀̓͠l̴̻̫̮̹͍̻͔͍̀̈́̒̅̊̌͗̄̾͌̑͂̽͑ḍ̶̦̘͓̃̑̾̎̃̔͋̕'̵̢͙̘̰̞̑̋̈̿̃͒̌̑͌͒͊̓̾v̵̧̡̭̮̩͙̯͖̼͙̠̘̟̯̮̓̈́̌ë̴̻̼͚͇̟̟̞͎͍̹̞́͑̍͊̉̊̍̿̓̆̚͘̕͝ͅͅ ̷͖̺̠̙͓̺̹̭̀̓͑̊̈́̈́̃͌͑͝͝ơ̴̢̖̤̳͕̳͉̤̖̗̰̙͒̐̂͆̅͂͘͜ͅͅṅ̶̨͎̜̻̼͉̠̱̳̠̗̰̭͉́̍͊̔ͅl̷̢̳͙͙̖͕̭͕͈̟̟̲̦̯͙̓͊̉̊̑̌͆̓̕ý̶͓͎͍͓̅̈̊͆͜ ̷̧͙̗̥̩̥͔̙̭͔͍̪͎̉͑͘t̸̛̫͗̈́̃̏a̶̢̨̭̝̜̱͎̺̘̱͇͉̭̻̐̈́̃̅̐̿̆͜ǩ̸̡͍̜̣̭̭̘̳̘͓̘̓̒̆̈͝e̶͔͕̟̣̫̟̘̺͛͋̒̌̈̅͝ͅn̶̢̡̠̯͈͕̜͉̭͑̓̑̅̾̽̅̄͝͝ ̶̧͇͙̠͓͇͓̑̾͋̊̐͑̈̀͊̈́̚͘a̶̧̬͍͍̖̬̙̫̣͚̥̽͂̑͒̌̚ ̸̢̡̧͇̺̤̦͛͌̏̽͌̊̕ͅc̵̩̖͚̼̘̎͊̚͠o̴͙͙͖̥̼͑͗̽̈́͆̀͊̈́͘̚͠͠ų̴̨͇͔̖̟͖̤͔̹͕̦̺̞̎̂͜p̶̪̤̜̀̈́̂̈́̀́͐̄͆͜l̴̢̲̟͚͔̘͍̣̜̭̹̫̔͂̓͊͜ė̵̟̭̒͒͝ ̶̢͖͙̞̪͈͙̯̙̱̈́̿̑̀̈́̒̑͜͠͝͝ḍ̸̨͕̠͉̙̟̖̙̪͓͇̫̠̿ͅa̷̧͓͍͎͎͕̗̘͕͕͍͔̙̮̮̐̄̾͐̓͐̔̎͊͒͆͗̊y̷̝͖̝̲̱̙̝͋̅̈͜͝s̶̢̧̗̰͎̖͚̲̫̤͍͕͇̑̚ ̷̥̺̥͙̝̽̌̐̅̂̂͗t̵͓̫̿̋̃̎̆́̎̿̅͜͝ơ̴̛̗̻̰̌͜ ̸̧̡̛̭͖̯̬͚̭̰̮̟̘͌̐̏̆̈͆̏̀͌̐̚͝͝͝ḥ̸̙̫̺͎̤̱̥̅̉͝ȩ̶̦̺͈̺̤̰̥̝̜͒̎̽͛̒͗͂̍̎̔̏̚͜͝ǎ̵͇͈̞̲͌̍̓͛̓̃͒͌̀̈́͂͒l̷̞͎͉͓̈́̈͐̈ ̵̢̯̬̠̫̱̺̬̰̒n̴̠̙̤͖͍͓̹̯̜̅̋̐̌͒̈́̂̅̉̚ͅa̴̧̛̓͛͊͒͋͐̎̋̿̃̃̈t̴̬͑̌̾̔̆̍̅̚͘͝ų̸̻̫͙͉͎ȓ̶̨͓͈͓͈̟͔̃̽̓̋͗̍́̃͌̕͝ͅa̶̢̡̨̛̛̛̘̱͓͖̠͔̥̹̮̼͚͂̈́̚̕͝l̵̹̞͑͋̍̈͋̅̋̔̽͒̃͂́͝͝l̷̮̼͕̠̱̈́̑͆̂͌̉y̶̼̖̺̪͉̰̺̜̟̝̼̗͗͗̒̽͘.̵̡̛͎̥̬͈͉̤̗̬̤͗͗̐ͅ"

_One demon deal later..._

Lucy Ann then shows up.

"Dipper, were you being stupid again?"

"Yes," you answer before him.

"N̴͎͚͖̤̘̫̞̳̻͂̉̋ͅǫ̶̡̤͈̫̲̭̪̭̻̈́͊̇͝,̷̢͇̎̌͌̂̉̑͑̃͊" he hurriedly tries to rectify the situation.

"I trust this rando you found on the street more than you," Lucy Ann grins.

"You should."

"No. Trust me."

"I don't know," she smiles. "This rando seems pretty trustworthy to me."

"No," Dipper frowns.

"Yes."

"Hold up for a second, I have a summoning."

Dipper then turns into his object form and leaves.

"So...how's your day been?" Lucy Ann awkwardly asks.

"Pretty good."

After an awkward silence for about three to four hours, Dipper shows back up covered in some sort of honey.

"Quite a...sticky situation you've found yourself in there, wouldn't you say?" you laugh.

Dipper then licks you. He probably got into some dipnip.

"Pretty sure the fuckin' cult gave him some dipnip," Lucy Ann says in annoyance. "We'll have to wait it out."

_A few minutes later..._

We need to timeskip more. Dipper's still drugged up.

_A few more minutes later..._

We should be- aw fuck, he's still a cat.

_Even MORE minutes later..._

"The cult worshiped Bill Cipher, but it was actually a different demon pretending to be Bill."

"Really?"

"And they covered me in honey. I subsequently killed them all."

"What did they do?"

"Killed a kid. One of them was an r!Bill, actually."

"Fuck, sorry."

"Eh, it wasn't as bad as the whole 'Bill comes back through his reincarnations' thing that happened with Toby and Ian."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. Anyway, Lucy Ann, is the Dinner Crew still around?"

"Yeah, recently got some unicorns in the gang."

"Cool, unicorns are bitches though."

"They sure are."

The police proceed to bust into the house.

"Freeze! You are under arrest for- oh hey rando!"

"Hey, dude. How you been?"

"Pretty good. You know summoning demons is against the law, though, right?"

"Yes. However, you can make an exception this once, right?"

"Sure, why not?"

The police then leave.

"What was that?"

"Oh, we're friends. Met at a Twin Souls convention, actually."

"Normally I hate Twin Souls, but it saved me from having to kill someone this time, so it gets a pass just this once."

"Anyway, Dipper, you said you were going to college?"

"Yep! I start tomorrow, as a matter of fact."

"Cool! Which major?"

"Political cooking."

"Awesome."


End file.
